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spem in alio numquam habui

Programme Note

Written to be paired with performances of an arrangement of Tallis's famous Spem in alium, my title spem in alio numquam habui is a play on words revealed, so my Latin helpers assure me, by the change of case between (in translation) I have never put my hope in any other but in Thee, God of Israel (from the Tallis motet) and my precipitous spin-off I have never had hope in another.

Less of a bleak statement of hopelessness or a general mistrust of others, and more than a simple affirmation of atheism or even a negation of the Christian god, the title connects positively to a verse taken from the Buddhist Dhammapada: "Truly it is ourselves that we depend upon; how could we really depend upon another? When we reach the state of self-reliance we find a rare refuge."

I was writing this piece at the time of Remembrance Day (November 11th) commemorated in British Commonwealth countries to honour the dead of the First World War. Like many, I'm sure, I always feel torn by the formalised displays of grief choreographed at such times: on the one hand I respect those who courageously fought and gave their lives for what they believed; on the other hand I abhor not only the hideous suffering on all sides, and in any war, but those who promulgate the sentiments and lies that make war possible. Such baseness is abundant still, rife in politics, on social media, and elsewhere, as people point to patriotism and "just causes," thereby fomenting the social and political conditions ripe for more deadly strife.

The image of a dead soldier sprawled over barbed wire comes to mind; the falling stone as a metaphor for youth cut down in its first energetic flights of self-realisation; the continuing role of religion in crimes against humanity; Samuel Johnson's famous "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel;" and the Wilfred Owen poem Futility with its appalling first line: Move him into the sun---